Why Jack and Rose did not fit on the wooden plank

This image on 'imgur' has been doing the rounds of FB for a while, especially after the release of Titanic 3D. In spite of all the hoopla over why Jack couldn't be accommodated on the same wooden plank as Rose, I feel there are pressing reasons as to why it simply wasn't possible...

1. Titanic was released in 2D. Jack and the plank occupied different planes.
2. The plank was a chunk off the ship's elevator with a tag '1000 pounds weight limit'.
3. Rose felt their relationship was going too fast. She needed some 'space'.
4. Jack's elastic straps holding the pant up had broken and he was embarrassed to climb atop the plank in his briefs.
5. Jack was Aquaman in disguise and decided to ditch Rose because she was high maintenance.
6. The pool used to simulate the ocean was too small and salt-less to provide the required buoyancy to an overloaded plank.
7. Jack and Rose were tributes in the Hunger Games from different districts.
8. Jack was promised the title role in 'Pirates of the Caribbean', a sequel to Titanic. But only his first name made it.
9. The plank was the door from a first class cabin and Jack was a third-class passenger.

When US beckoned me by Siddharth Wagh is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.