Wednesday, May 28, 2008

BC assessment letter

At my workplace, they used to hand us a letter, call that a progress report, of our work at the dining hall. We needed to accumulate a certain number of points (20, wasn't it?) and have no more than a few absentees. Well, if at all they had any idea of the secret activities that went behind that spotless fabric, this is how the letter would have looked/sounded like...
Reader discretion advised...

Division of Dining Services

Brour CoumansStudent Employment ProgramRutkers University - Division of Dining Services999 Collage Avenue, Old Brunswick, NJ 08903732 732 7321

Student Employee Monthly Assessment

Siddharth Wagh

My dear Siddharth,

At the end of October 2007, your record indicates that you have accumulated a total of 23 apples, 12 bananas, 3 chicken pattice with wheat bread and 5.6 litres of Gatorade towards your groceries from Brower Commons. Additionally, you called out from work saying you had a midterm when you were seen bouncing on the section 131 at the Rutgers-WV game. You have a total of 3 cuts on your hand due to negligence and medicated twice for the same. You were late 2 time(s) and left early 3 times. You have smuggled in two students in the dining hall and smuggled out 2 bottles of ketchup. To complete your end of the semester bonus, you must invite 2 more friends from the back door, drink 7 liters of chocolate milk and chat for a total of 6 more hours with your colleagues during work time. If you notice any discrepancies in the above totals, I stay at 234 Easton Ave, New Brunswick, NJ 08903. See you after office hours. Thank you for your time.

Mellony Kreeger
Student Unit manager

Comments: You have been nominated for the student worker of the month award for your dastardly act of bravery at the dining hall last Friday. If you have any questions, you know where I live.

All characters and actions are fictitious and any resemblance to any person or thing, living or dead, is purely coincidental...

Creative Commons License
When US beckoned me by Siddharth Wagh is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.


Vaidehi said...

and this one too?

Annice said...

Keep up the good work.